How lovely to be asked to come back. I was just thinking myself that I needed to write something. I am not feeling grounded, and writing is good way to ground myself. Susan asked for 50 words or so — I can do that now, but not much more. Daniel and I haven’t had 60 good minutes in a row together since Tuesday, and a late dinner awaits.
Why haven’t I been here? Work — I am mired, mired, mired in a project, THE project, that has shadowed so much of my writing for months (since March at lest), and it is a spigot stuck in my vitals that drains my energy. I have put myself on a roller coaster with this project, and I need to get off the carnival ride, and focus intently for six weeks, take a breath and focus again for another six, and be done with it.
Exhaustion — related to work, but also to, oh, everything. There’s been not enough time to catch my breath. I am making worse by mindlessly surfing the internet and further depleting myself with relentless yet ever-shifting obsessions. For my next post, I should list, with photos, all the things I’ve simply HAD to have in the last two weeks. I know this is a reaction to stress, and it would be good to snap out of it.
A feeling of nothing to say — which is never to be trusted. Writing generates its own energy. I have wonderfully or painfully written my way into something to say many many times before. I had some moments, even hours, over the last several weeks of being full up with joy at what I have, but then the counterrevolution set in. That’s worth writing about, and I will, again.
Okay, that’s 294 words. It’s a start. A re-start. Thanks, Susan.
Another Door 
Ahhhh, I feel better now. You too, I hope. “Writing generates its own energy” is an important reminder for me at this moment, full of resistance. Natalie Goldberg’s “Writing Down The Bones” title always spoke to me in the same way. Thank you for the extra 244 (hey – cool, adds up to “1” – totality) and looking forward to more when you get them down. By the way, I keep finding amazing shoes online and saying hey, Dorothea, these are so cool! Generally orange-y suede … . Be well.
Send links to the shoes!!! And, really, thanks for speaking up. I do feel better, and insist on continuing to do so.
Good to “read” you again!
Thank you. I’ve enjoyed reading how your romance with the Sheepfarmer unfolded. My love for Daniel started when I decided to break all my rules about men.
Yay! Glad to see Susan brought you back. Glad to have 294 words from you. Take care of yourself, and make sure you are getting some rest. I too have been swamped at work (and swamped with insomnia, yuck), so I know the importance of sleeping and down time. I hope you are getting. hugs!
Hi lovely. I haven’t been sleeping enough or having good, nourishing downtime, but I hope all that will change soon. Soon, like, right now!
Thanks, Susan! Happy to see you “live” again, a word with multiple pronunciations–here I mean the long i. Got a bit tangled in pronunciation over “row” above–you meant, of course, in a row, as in how one puts ducks. I read that you were hoping to row with Daniel for 60 continuous minutes, in the UK sense of it, the one that rhymes with “ow.” This is not an easy time of year for continuity!
Oh you bilingual wit, you! Daniel and I have indeed had 60 minute rows. We are very good at that. I forgot how to let it go and walk away (perhaps to tend to those unruly ducks). Your comment reminds me that I did once know how to hoe an easier row. I could do these jokes alone…. As for time of year, I am exhausted and I honestly don’t know how you Christians do it! Decorating the house? Oy vey!